Flock Off!
by Quatermass
Summary: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Lethal Ladies from Outer Space. In which Harry Potter, after a drunken night of pranking MBI, ends up Winging the entire Discipline Squad. Which means he's now been conscripted by MBI. Oh dear. (Based on, with permission, "Angry, Angry Wizards" by sakurademonalchemist, and whitetigerwolf's 'Drunken Recruit' challenge! Harem!)
1. Foreword

**FOREWORD**

Ugh, here I go again, biting off more than I can chew with another Potterverse crossover. This will mark my second _Sekirei_ crossover with the Potterverse. And while I am writing the first chapter before I get the manga's reprint, I won't be posting it as a full story until after I get it.

This story is heavily inspired by sakurademonalchemist's _Angry, Angry Wizards_. It begins, however, in a different manner, inspired by whitetigerwolf's 'Drunk Recruit' challenge, where Harry, while drunk, manages to infiltrate a secretive organisation, and is forced to join it when he wakes up, or else he dies or is imprisoned. whitetigerwolf used Hotel Moscow and Balalaika from _Black Lagoon_ as an example…but I decided on MBI…and this is what resulted. Oh, and a little touch of Bloody Brandy's Vegas Challenge, albeit without the Las Vegas wedding.

Anyway, time for the usual disclaimers. Firstly, there will be spoilers for both Harry Potter and _Sekirei_. In addition, this will be a somewhat humorous work in some regards.

Secondly, there will be heavy annotations, as is usual for my works. You have been warned.

Thirdly, this is an M-Rated work. There will be coarse language, violence, dark themes and sexual references. Again, you have been warned.

Finally, the following is a fan-written work. Harry Potter and _Sekirei_ are the properties of their respective owners. Please support the official release. Otherwise, Karasuba will dice you…


	2. Chapter 1: It's Not a Good Night Unless

**CHAPTER 1:**

 **IT'S NOT A GOOD NIGHT UNLESS YOU WAKE UP NEXT TO A TRAFFIC CONE(** **1)**

Ah, morning amnesia. One of the most treacherous functions of the brain, and yet one of its unsung heroes. Waking up with no idea what the hell you did the night before, only that the morning is sure to get awkward. So, story of my life. Damned bipolar luck.

That, coupled with a splitting headache, ensured that my awakening was not exactly a pleasant one. That, and I could feel the warm flesh enveloping me on both sides. Normally quite a pleasant sensation, but I knew there was going to be awkward explaining to do. Plus, I was sure there was going to be a traffic cone somewhere in the room. It's not a good night unless you wake up next to a traffic cone. And yep, there's one at the foot of the bed, at the end of a valley of flesh I could barely make out without my glasses.

The first thing that came back to my rebooting brain was my name. Harry James Potter. And then, enough of my life story came back to me.

Shortly after that whole mess with Voldemort, I realised, I had always had to dance to someone else's tune. Mostly Dumbledore's, but also to the expectations of Magical Britain, as well as being servant to the Dursleys. And now that Voldemort was dead, along with so many friends, I realised I felt hollow.

I couldn't continue with Ginny. She took it well, better than Ron. I told her that she was right, that I hadn't been happy unless facing Voldemort, and now that he was gone, I didn't know what to do. I needed to find a new purpose in life, and frankly, I wasn't sure I could find it in Magical Britain. Ginny let me go with tears in her eyes, but a genuine wish for me to find my happiness. I think Ron and Molly were more upset than Ginny was, and certainly more angry.

It took me a while to decide what to do next. I felt restless. I decided to take the money my parents had left me, and go on a tour of the world, try to forget what happened in the past. My latest stop was in Japan, and I had ended up in Shinto Teito, formerly Tokyo. Apparently it had been bought up by a company, Mid-Bio Industries or MBI, whose CEO was some flamboyant wanker called Hiroto Minaka. I saw his image on the local newspapers. A massive shock of white hair framing a grinning face with glasses, a white business suit over which he wore what looked like a goddamned cloak…it was like he was trying to look like some megalomaniac scientist out of an anime.

Anyway, he had bought up the city, though for what reason, few people seemed to know. Whatever it was, MBI was more of a subject of curiosity than anything I wanted to get involved with.

On my second night staying here, I got depressed more than usual. Occasionally, the sheer enormity of what I went through hits me. I had survived, while so many people hadn't. My parents. Cedric Diggory. Sirius Black. Dumbledore. Mad-Eye Moody. Remus Lupin. Nymphadora Tonks. Fred Weasley.

The survivor's guilt would occasionally sneak up on me and punch me in the guts. So I go to the nearest bar and drink myself stupid. I usually drink alone, but for some reason, I found myself with some company last night. A rather elegant, dark-haired woman, tall and buxom, dressed in a vaguely Chinese-style tight dress that stopped dangerously short of her modesty, and had bits cut out to show off her navel and cleavage.

I think we got to talking and, eventually, bitching about our lives. She had complained about being dumped by the only man she had ever loved, who turned out to be that wanker Minaka. Her name, apparently, was Kazehana, and I, being the gallant idiot that I was, vowed to play a Marauders' style prank on Minaka to avenge the honour of my drinking buddy. She seemed disappointed in me in some way. Not in my vow to avenge her: she seemed pretty amused at that. But she seemed to regret that I wasn't her Ashikabi, whatever the hell that was. I think it meant 'reed sprout' in Japanese or something, but the Translation Charm wasn't translating it properly. I think it was because she was slurring her words a bit. We parted ways with a drunken hug, and I went off into the night, determined to head back to the hotel, retrieve my Invisibility Cloak, and make Minaka pay for his being so cruel to a beautiful young woman.

Gah. Merlin, did I really do something that quixotic? Again? Only this time, I was drunk? Anyway, leaving that aside, if I parted ways with Kazehana, who the freaking fuck was I in bed with?

I looked to either side of me. I was being hemmed in by a pair of young women, with the arm of what had to be a third draped over one of them. It was hard to tell what their ages were, but I guessed late teens to maybe late twenties at most. The two women whose heads I could see both had silvery grey hair, and rather intense, if attractive, features.

I squinted, making out details. The one on my left had a number of scars on her pale skin, her silver hair shaggy and short, her eyelids a little sunken. For some reason, I had this notion of her being like a female Wolverine or Vega, but I couldn't remember why for the life of me. The one on my right had a couple of scars herself, with long hair, her features twitching in a smirk even in the depths of sleep…or was it? My danger senses were beginning to scream at me, and I had a sinking feeling that, whoever this woman was, she might not actually be asleep.

I heard a yawn, and then, the owner of the arm draped over the woman to my left sat up. She looked to be in her late teens, with a fit, athletic if somewhat petite body. At least, I hoped she was in her late teens. She also had pink hair, and when she saw me, a moment of confusion and anger flitted across her features, before realisation seemed to come to it, and she smirked. "Ah, our Ashikabi is awake," she said.

I blinked. _What?_ That was the second time I heard someone use that term. I also realised that the Translation Charm had worn off, and she was speaking accented, if good, English. I decided to play it safe, and groaned theatrically. Not that I needed to exaggerate the pain in my groan much. "Did anyone get the number of that truck that ran me over?"

"104, Haihane," murmured the woman with the short silvery hair and scars.

A soft, malevolent chuckle emerged from the lips of the other silver-haired woman, and her eyes opened lazily. Our eyes met, and I knew I was in deep shit. Those eyes, they were the eyes of a murderer, a predator, no, something even worse. "You've been a very naughty boy," she purred.

"Clearly," I said, as calmly and dryly as I could manage. "Umm…how plastered was I?"

"Plastered?" the pink-haired girl asked.

"It's British slang for being drunk, Benitsubasa," the sadistic-seeming woman said, her English far less accented. "And the answer was, very. I mean, you'd have to be stupid or under the influence to do what you just did. You're lucky we found you amusing enough to let you live, for now. And the fact that we reacted to you."

"And don't forget the fight with me, Karasuba," murmured the other silver-haired woman, whose eyes were flickering blearily open. "Though why did you keep calling me Vega? I thought Balrog had the claws(2)?" she asked me.

I blinked. I fought these three? Or at least one of them? "Umm, what did I do last night?"

"I don't know all of what you did," the woman who had been called Karasuba said, "but you somehow snuck in, vandalised the office of our president, tie-dyed his collection of capes and coats, and then, somehow snuck into our quarters. I found you then when you tripped up on that cloak of yours, and…you challenged us to a dance-off. I let Haihane here try to deal with you, only you dodged her, using some sort of teleportation. And then, as the fight went on…we started to react to you. I stopped you, had to knock you down, and suggested we kiss you."

"Umm…react to me?" I said, dreading where the hell this was going. " _Kiss_ me?"

"But of course!"

The crazed voice came from the door, and as I tried to sit up, a couple of things happened. A sickening jolt of pain went through my head from the hangover. Benitsubasa handed me my glasses, which I donned. And music started playing from the door. Very familiar, bombastic music, from when Dudley used to watch a certain show.

"Prepare for trouble!" declaimed the voice, which came from a familiar, white-haired figure standing in the door, his hands reaching for the ceiling as if to milk a giant cow. Standing next to him was a silver-haired woman in a labcoat, her rather attractive features set in a scowl. As the music continued, the man frowned, before nudging the woman with his elbow. "You missed your cue, we need to start over!"

"Shut up, Minaka, I am not indulging your desire to do a Team Rocket introduction. And why did you want to use the damned old English dub?" the woman snapped.

Minaka pouted, before rewinding the music player he had with him. "You have NO appreciation for the fine and subtle art of making a grand, bombastic entrance. Anyway, I'd better start from the point where I can handle it myself." The music started off again, and after a moment, he began to make his declaration.

" _To protect the world from devastation!_

 _To unite all peoples within our nation!_

 _To declare the beauties of truth and love!_

 _To extend our reach to the stars above!_

 _Hiroto! Minaka!_

 _MBI blasts off at the speed of light!_

 _Surrender now, or prepare to fight(_ _3)_ _!_ "

I blinked, and then looked at the woman. "Is he always this insane?"

"Some days, he's _worse_ ," the woman said with a long-suffering sigh. "I'm Dr Takami Sahashi. This insane imbecile, if you've not been in Shinto Teito for long, is Dr Hiroto Minaka, the CEO of MBI. And you, Mr Harry Potter, are in very deep trouble."

"I figured that," I muttered. "How do you know my name?"

"It's a bit hard not to know when you left your wallet in your clothes," Takami said. "Karasuba was kind enough to send us your name before she retired for the night. Incidentally, I would say congratulations on you being hired…but something tells me you wouldn't appreciate it."

"You what?!"

Minaka's deranged grin grew even wider. "Ah, yes! You see, you have been chosen by fate to partake in a grand game the likes of which the world has never before seen! My sincerest and heartiest congratulations! What is more, in spite of the rather puerile and juvenile way you have trashed my office and my clothes, not to mention other things, you have managed to do something rather wonderful for me! You see, these three lovely ladies have needed a handler for some time. By Winging them, you have just volunteered yourself to be that handler!"

My hangover-befuddled brain was understandably struggling to catch up with this. "Winging them? What, is that what they call sex these days?"

"Oh, there was no sex involved," grinned Karasuba. "You were too drunk for that. We just piled up here naked to see the look on your face. Doesn't mean there won't be later, though." Her hand snaked down to clasp a rather sensitive place indeed, to emphasise her point.

Takami apparently took pity on me, as she said, "Okay. Long story short, last night, you bonded yourself to three aliens. What's more, they act as our private security, as enforcers of the safety of their own kind. Ergo, you're now their new manager. I'd say congratulations, but…you're going to have your hands full."

"And if you try to run out on us," Karasuba purred as I tried to wrap my head around that, "I get to hunt you down and remove your limbs." Her nails, very sharp nails, pinched into my member ever so slightly, enough to make her point. "So…no pressure."

"That's right!" Minaka crowed. "You try to leave Shinto Teito, and, well, we can't _kill_ you, as you're now their Ashikabi, their destined one. But we only need you _alive_. Takami, can an Ashikabi support Sekirei when in a coma?"

"Minaka, stop scaring the poor bastard. He's going to get enough of that from his Flock," Takami said. She looked at me. "You seem to be taking this well."

"I have a bad hangover, and I've seen weirder shit than alien women even when I'm sober. Gimme a moment to let it sink in before I start shrieking in fear and dread at the situation I've been roped into," I said deadpan.

Not that it was just fear I felt. It was anger and annoyance as well. And a bit of self-reproach. I didn't care what crazy situation I had gotten myself into now. All I knew was, the way Minaka was grinning at me like some comicbook supervillain, I was going to show him why Harry Potter wasn't going to be trifled with…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Harry's got himself into a bit of a pickle, huh? Shades of Bloody Brandy's Vegas challenge, though Harry has only slept with his newfound Flock in the most literal sense of the term. But he's not going to take it lying down. Come hell or high water, he's taking MBI down. He'll be at odds with Takami once he learns of her admittedly reluctant complicity with Minaka, and a bit with Miya when he learns of her neutrality, but hey. They'll still be allies.**

 **Anyway, as with** ** _Angry, Angry Wizards_** **, this story starts a few years before the main** ** _Sekirei_** **storyline. Some of my readers will note the similarities with my now-abandoned-and-archived story** ** _Resident Evil: Basilisk_** **, with the snarky first person viewpoint, and I even copied and pasted a couple of paragraphs from that story wholesale.**

 **1\. The chapter title comes from a line uttered by the Cat in the** ** _Red Dwarf_** **episode** ** _The Last Day_** **, after the crew have a drunken bender to help Kryten enjoy himself.**

 **2\. For those of you who don't get the joke, I'm referring to the** ** _Street Fighter_** **character. In English-speaking territories, he's called Vega (the original Japanese title for M Bison), while in Japanese, he's called Balrog (which is the English name of the character named in Japanese M Bison). No, really. Isn't localisation fun? Harry would know the English name, while Haihane, having played the Japanese version, would know the Japanese name.**

 **3\. Yes, this is a modified form of the first English version of the Team Rocket anthem from** ** _Pokémon_** **.**


	3. Chapter 2: Orientation Day

**CHAPTER 2:**

 **ORIENTATION DAY**

A shower later (very cold, and not helped by Karasuba joining me), and I eventually was frogmarched by the three women (now dressed) into a room where the Takami woman was waiting. It was then that I was given effectively a lesson on Sekirei 101. An abridged version.

About eighteen years ago, Takami and Minaka, along with a man called Takehito Asama, found a spaceship buried within an island that had risen out of the ocean. Within that spaceship, they found a grown woman in stasis, along with foetuses and embryos in various states of growth. While human-looking, they were actually aliens from another world, with each having a particular type of power. They were dubbed the 'Sekirei', after the name for the Japanese Wagtail. Why they were called that, I have no idea, and Takami didn't see fit to enlighten me.

Anyway, MBI got founded based on the technology they could reverse-engineer from the spaceship. And Minaka had gotten it into his twisted little head to get some entertainment from it. You see, Sekirei bonded with their chosen partners. I think it's actually a magical bond of some kind, not unlike a familiar bond. This bond is initiated by a kiss and an exchange of DNA via saliva. This triggers a link between Sekirei and their chosen, unleashing their powers, and causing the brief emergence of wings of energy, hence why the process was called 'Winging'. Only certain humans could trigger such a link, and they were known as Ashikabi. Again, don't ask me why.

What Minaka decided to do was to create a tournament around the Sekirei, releasing them to seek out their chosen partners. But he also decided to turn it into a battle between Sekirei, winner take all. Of course, such things needed policing, hence the Disciplinary Squad.

There had been three iterations of the Discipline Squad before, but I was only told about this one, told it was need to know, despite my protests. The leader was Karasuba, obviously. Her number, 04, had her as one of the most powerful Sekirei, as those with single-digit numbers had the most power. Takami told me, rather redundantly, that she was a bloodthirsty sadist. So, I was basically stuck with the alien equivalent of Bellatrix Lestrange. She wore a dark uniform, over which she wore a grey coat like a cloak.

Benitsubasa was the petite pink-haired girl, currently dressed in a dark Asiatic dress. I would later come to learn that she was about as old as me, more or less (thankfully for my sanity: the Sekirei had been triggered into growing shortly after being discovered), but had a bit of a neurosis about her bust size, or lack thereof. She was a hand-to-hand fighter, capable of causing earth tremors with her fists. Haihane, the scarred one, wielded massive oversized clawed gauntlets in combat. She also had a habit of laughing herself sick, I would later learn. She wore a dark kimono over bandages wrapped around her scarred body.

Now, as much as I detested this situation, and being conscripted into it, and protested it, much to the grinning apathy of Minaka and the resignation of Takami, I knew that I didn't have a choice. Takami pointed out that MBI had satellites that could track Ashikabi, and fire death lasers at any berk who decided to fuck off from Shinto Teito. My words, not hers. I didn't think they'd know anything about magic, Apparition or Portkeys, but I would not be surprised if they managed to track me down somehow. Especially now that I had some weird soul bond to a trio of lethal ladies from outer space. Karasuba had the air of a hunting dog, and one who had no qualms about playing sadistically with her prey.

But having gotten into this mess by being an impulsive Gryffindor, I knew that there were ways out of this by being Slytherin. Not in the stupid, Blood Purist way that blonde eunuch Malfoy emulated all the bloody time, but rather, biding my time until I struck, like a snake in the grass. Even Voldemort, for all his batshit crazy, knew when to bide his time and when to strike.

Once Takami had finished, and had asked, "Do you have any questions?", I promptly put my hand up. She raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're going to put your hand up? Even though this is new to you and only you?"

"Pick me, miss, pick me," I said in the most deadpan tone possible. Haihane began chuckling.

"Just ask your damn questions," Takami said.

"Okay. Tell me, why are you letting Minaka turn this into a glorified bloodsport between a group of buxom alien women and whatever poor berk who takes their fancy? If they're meant to find their Ashikabki or destined one or whatever, that's fine. But why turn it into a game where the losers actually lose the chance to be with their Ashikabi?"

"Because Minaka's a dick," Takami said bluntly. "He's a genius, he's insane, and he does not give a damn about human life whatsoever. He thinks himself to be a god-like supervillain out of a manga, and unfortunately, he's smart enough to know how to control people. He has failsafes in place in case people rebel against him, unless they amuse him in doing so. That goes for both of us. I'm staying in this to minimise the damage he does to the Sekirei."

"Are you? Only, you just conscripted a foreign national into your program without doing any background on him whatsoever. I could sue the crap out of you, and believe me, I have the money to do it."

Takami rolled her eyes. "Blame Minaka. I'm the one stuck having to clean up after him. He's also the only one politically capable of keeping the various governments of the world at bay. More than a few attempts have been made to kidnap Sekirei or seize Kamikura by interests both governmental and corporate. A threat of a lawsuit from you wouldn't even faze him, no matter how much you can pay your lawyers. Plus, once a Sekirei is Winged to you, that's it. It's irrevocable. Much like a Vegas wedding, only Elvis isn't involved. Quite frankly, I'm relieved you Winged them. The candidate Minaka wanted was unsuitable for a number of reasons."

"How is that?"

"Natsuo is gay, and while I have no problem with that, the strength of a Sekirei's bond is enhanced by affection. It's not always necessarily a sexual or romantic bond, but those do help. Natsuo is also…troubled, shall we say? His lover died some time ago, and I personally think he has developed nihilistic, even sociopathic tendencies. Minaka thought that would help him mesh well with Karasuba, but…the truth is, I had my doubts. The Discipline Squad is required to handle any challenge that comes their way, including possible confrontations with Single Numbers. And the strength of the bond between Ashikabi and Sekirei strengthens the Sekirei." She peered at me. "You seem to be taking this far better than many I have worked with."

"I've seen weirder than alien women, remember?" I retorted. "Is it normal for an Ashikabi to be bound to multiple Sekirei?"

"No, but it's perfectly possible. They all reacted to you," Takami said. "If you are an Ashikabi, you can Wing Sekirei, even if they don't react to you. And Sekirei can react to multiple people. The reaction is a form of physical arousal indicating compatibility." On my look, she clarified, "Heartbeat and flushing. Occasional sexual arousal can happen, but…"

"I felt the pain you went through," Karasuba purred. "The darkness you fought. The anger you bottle up. I can help you relieve that."

"That's what pranks are for," I snarked back. I looked at Takami. "Do I have powers as head of the Discipline Squad to prevent Sekirei from being forcibly Winged?"

"To a degree, though Minaka wouldn't like it."

"Tough. Can I have a dossier on each and every Sekirei and their abilities?"

"Fine," Takami said. Better to know what I was up against before I embarked on my great big fuck you to MBI, as well as my duties. I didn't have Hermione around to do the research for me now.

"Good. If there aren't any more questions…" Takami began, before I interrupted.

"Oh, I have plenty more."

"Like what?" Takami asked exasperatedly.

"What is your name? What is your quest? And what is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?"

There was a silence for a time, before she growled, and stormed out of the room. "NI!" I shrieked after her.

Haihane cocked her head as she watched Takami storm out. "What was that about swallows?"

I looked at them, before throwing my arm around Haihane. Of the Sekirei I had met so far, I liked her the most. Creepy as hell, but she was kind of endearing. Whereas Benitsubasa, I already had the feeling was an angry little bundle of complexes, and Karasuba…well, her very presence was slamming down on my ' _oh fuck get away it's a bloodthirsty predator_ ' button.

Anyway, I said, "Tell me, my dear Haihane, have you ever watched the classics of human comedy? Because I am so buying a copy of _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ for you to watch." I looked at Karasuba. "And you would like the Black Knight scene."

"I doubt that," Karasuba said.

* * *

"I **LOVE** IT!" Karasuba roared with laughter as the now de-legged and disarmed Black Knight declared his duel with Arthur a draw. Haihane was rolling on the floor, laughing her bandaged arse off, while Benitsubasa was laughing as well.

As it happened, Minaka had a DVD of the film in his collection, English dub, but with Japanese subtitles. I should have guessed that he was a Monty Python fan. There was something vaguely Pythonesque about him, like that Inquisitor played by Michael Palin in that sketch about the Spanish Inquisition.

* * *

I guess you could call watching that film a bonding experience of sorts. Well, with Haihane at least, who spent a lot of time after the film ended coughing up half a lung from laughing so hard. Benitsubasa spent the rest of the film torn between amusement and bemusement, and Karasuba seemed disappointed that there wasn't much more violence, though the Killer Rabbit scene got her laughing as well. And when she saw the Holy Hand Grenade in action, she immediately said, " _I_ _ **want**_ _one._ "

Afterwards, Benitsubasa peered at the screen as I took the DVD out. "So, that's human comedy?"

"One of the most famous comedy groups in the world. They come from my home country…well, except for Terry Gilliam, he's from America," I said. "They call themselves Monty Python. I don't know what comedy they have here…"

"Well, there's _manzai_ , a kind of double act," Haihane said. "And there's all sorts of comedy game shows, and anime…hey, are we in a harem comedy?"

"If we are, I'm not laughing," I snarked.

"You're no fun," Karasuba remarked.

"Hey, I'm meant to be your babysitter, given what Takami said. Babysitters are killjoys by default."

Karasuba's lazy gaze sharpened ever-so-slightly. "Well then, Harry Potter, if I wanted to kill someone, how would you stop me? You certainly can't do that by asking me nicely."

"Depends on whether they deserved it. Like if they killed another Sekirei or a human. Anyway, killing someone's boring. It sounds like something my worst enemy would have done."

Benitsubasa snorted. "You have a worst enemy?"

" _Had_ , past tense. A terrorist who targeted my family when I was young, and then came out of hiding to try and kill me time and time again. Looked like his mother had it off with a snake. You act very much like one of his lieutenants, who I am pretty sure was his lover too," I said, indicating Karasuba. "You're much better looking, though considering she spent maybe fifteen years in prison, that's not saying much. Anyway, I have ways and means of stopping you. Let's just leave it at that."

Well, I wasn't sure whether a Body-Bind or a Stunner would do jack-shit, really. And I couldn't rely on them working more than once, not with Karasuba. So, how did one stop a bloodthirsty alien woman from killing people?

Ah. Idea! An idea, worthy of a Marauder! "Anyway, killing's so uncreative. So's torturing someone physically."

I could feel the entirety of Karasuba's attention on me. It was, to be honest, pretty intimidating. It made the gaze of the Basilisk seem tame by comparison: at least that was certain death if you met it. "Go on," she purred, as if daring me to say something that would get me sliced and diced.

"What I meant to say was, my father, godfather, and honorary uncle were all pranksters at school," I said. I was improvising like mad here. "Two of my best friends were too. They knew how to make their victims howl with impotent anger, raise their blood pressure to dangerous levels, make them fear their wrath, all without harming their flesh." Well, with weapons, anyway. I knew more than a few of the Weasley Twins' stuff had caused some reversible harm. And given what I saw of the Marauders' antics through Snape's memories, well…yeah. They were bullies.

But hey, needs must when you needed rhetoric to persuade a killer alien with a killer body to not kill. Well, aside from the deserving. Hopefully, I could get her to prank the deserving as well.

And I'm sure that, if Luna was here, I'd be having a hard time persuading her that no, I was NOT going to set out to conquer the world with my new triptych of alien minions. Even if, given the stupidity I had seen in humans both mundane and magical, I was sorely tempted to give into my inner Voldemort. Gah! No! Bad Harry! No treacle tart for you!

Anyway, to my cautious delight, Karasuba looked intrigued. I could all but see the gears turning in that…well, I hesitate to say 'pretty little head', because, while beautiful, 'pretty' suggested something a little innocent, which certainly didn't apply to Karasuba. Plus, she would have diced me for the condescension, I'm sure.

I could say that I have created a monster, but Karasuba was one already. It was just a matter of changing what type of monster she was…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, yeah. Harry's undergone orientation, and he's begun bonding with his Flock, as well as beginning the process of converting Karasuba to…well, not the Dark Side, and certainly not the Light Side. More like the Sadistic Pranks Side…and Shinto Teito is officially fucked.**

 **I'd imagine that, if there'd be anything that would get Karasuba at all remotely interested in not wiping out humanity, it'd be dark comedy, particularly that with physical violence. Aside from the examples from** ** _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_** **shown above, I get the feeling that she'd also like some of Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson's stuff, along with** ** _The League of Gentlemen_** **. Hell, I can hear her singing along to Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, especially the bit starting with 'Always look on the bright side of death…'**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	4. Chapter 3: Ice, Ice, Baby

**CHAPTER 3:**

 **ICE, ICE, BABY**

Having spent much of the morning and early afternoon coming to grips with my current predicament, I chose to spend the rest of the afternoon making the first preparations for _Operation: Fuck You Hiroto Minaka_. I went back to my hotel room to fetch my things (I had been most adamant against Minaka's offer to bring them, and thankfully, the Invisibility Cloak had gone apparently unnoticed, buried under some clothes in the Discipline Squad's quarters, as had my wand, both of which I now had in a mokeskin pouch), and then visited the local magical enclave, being ever so mindful of the CCTV cameras dotted all over the city as I did so, and Apparating right into it. I would later come to realise that, apart from being an insane megalomaniac genius with a sense of morality that could be fitted into a matchbox without taking out the matches first(1), Minaka was also an unrepentant voyeur.

In fact, that explained a lot. Okay, the Sekirei didn't exactly have inhibitions, and many didn't even have a nudity taboo, as I would later learn, but still, he made up clothing for the Sekirei that were frequently fetishistic…and, in some cases, liable to shred during combat. So, why he didn't get one of those risqué anime series and beat off to it, I don't know.

Oh wait, I do know. It's because Minaka's nucking futs.

Anyhoodle, I visited the local branch of Gringotts (staffed by various species of _youkai_ rather than Goblins: the foreign accounts manager was a very fetching kitsune who, I later learned, was descended from Tamamo-no-Mae(2)), and found out more about my situation. As it happened, whatever bound me to the Sekirei had actually registered as a magical marriage and a soul bond. And while polygamy was as frowned-upon in magical society as it was in human society, it seemed that Gringotts, at least, was aware of the Sekirei, and had already placed a provision to that effect allowing such things. The Japanese Ministry was also aware, but had apparently been taking bribes from Minaka to look the other way.

So, Minaka was aware, if only to a small degree, about magic, though whether he knew about me being magical or my reputation, I didn't know. Hopefully not, or hopefully, he would underestimate me. So he would never see me coming…as the actress said to the bishop.

Gah! Focus! Anyway, I soon learned that Minaka had shares for sale from MBI. And Gringotts could help me buy those shares up with the Potter family fortune and that of the Black family. Gradually, so he wouldn't realise what was happening…well, assuming he paid attention to who owned what shares. It helped that Gringotts could buy the shares under the two titles of the Head of the Potter family and the Head of the Black family.

After withdrawing some money for my own purposes, and making arrangements to get documentation to stay in Japan for longer, I headed to the local potions shop, and bought some scar-removal salves. I did some more shopping, before heading back to MBI.

And that's where fate conspired to bugger me once more. That, and my saving people thing.

* * *

"The adjustment labs?" I asked Natsuo.

He nodded. He was quite a handsome-looking man with dark hair and eyes, and had a friendly-enough demeanour. But there was a coldness to his eyes that reminded me somewhat of what I saw of the young Tom Riddle. Though I felt more sorry for Natsuo than the Boy Who Lived to Become Voldemort: at least Natsuo knew what it was like to have loved and lost. And while he hadn't Winged the Discipline Squad, it had been decided that he would act as an overseer anyway. Not actually in charge, but rather, as an extra pair of eyes on your not-so-humble narrator, in case I caused trouble. Which I inevitably would. "Yes," he said. "Karasuba has an interest in one of the Sekirei currently being adjusted, namely Number 88, Musubi."

"An interest?" I asked.

"I don't know the full story, but Karasuba, along with the late Number 08, Yume, rescued Musubi along with another Sekirei after they were abducted by a foreign power," Natsuo said. "Yume died in the process, apparently somehow reviving Musubi."

I blinked, thinking that I had never seen any protective or nurturing instincts in Karasuba. As if sensing my confusion, Natsuo said, "It's not any loving relationship. It is more like…a rivalry. Karasuba wants Musubi to get as strong as possible…and then vanquish her."

"…That's twisted."

Natsuo scoffed. "This is MBI. 'Twisted' is a fact of life."

* * *

I was escorted down to the labs level by Natsuo, who was going to keep an eye on me. That, and act as a translator. While many of the staff at MBI could speak Japanese and English (and a number of the Sekirei were bilingual as well), most could only speak Japanese, and I did not want to expose my magic while casting a Translation Charm. As we made our way down the corridors, we heard a commotion up ahead. Shouted commands in Japanese were suddenly cut off. Then, a VERY buxom young woman skidded around the corner, dressed in little more than one of those surgical gowns that left the rear open. She shouted something in Japanese, not in anger, but in fear. In fact, I was pretty sure she yelled, _Hide me!_

I glanced at a nearby door, labelled in both Japanese and English as a storage cupboard, before flinging it open, and gesturing for the woman, whom I was almost certain was a Sekirei, to get in. She dived in, and I closed the door hurriedly. "That was Number 07," Natsuo said. "Akitsu. But she wasn't scheduled to be adjusted today. Unless…oh, that _idiot_."

"Who?"

"Dr Tokiomi Takeru(3)," Natsuo scowled. "An incompetent fool of an adjuster who has been increasingly insolent lately, and has been going behind Dr Sahashi's back." He glanced down the corridor, and sighed. "Speak of the devil, as you English would say."

The middle-aged man in a labcoat storming towards us looked like a thoroughly unpleasant sort, rather like if Umbridge had a Japanese relation. Seriously, I was sure there was a toad in that man's ancestry somewhere. He barked out something to Natsuo, who replied coolly. An argument ensued before Natsuo indicated down the corridor. Takeru nodded curtly, before storming down the corridor.

"Where did you send him?" I asked.

"I told him we had sent Akitsu to the bathing area of the Discipline Squad. Haihane and Benitsubasa were sparring while you were gone. They'll probably be arriving shortly after he does," Natsuo said with a cold smile.

"Should I feel sorry for him?"

"He's sexually harassed more than a few of the Sekirei, if reports are to be believed. And he was probably feeding information to Izumi Higa. I find myself not giving a damn. He was already demoted. If he adjusted Akitsu without Dr Sahashi's permission, he will be fired. Always assuming that Benitsubasa and Haihane leave enough of him left to **be** fired."

Deciding I needed to get my mind off the topic of impending dismemberment, I opened the cupboard, and Akitsu stumbled out. Short, light-brown hair framed a long face, and she looked to be one of the most buxom women I had seen. Well, aside from that one time Tonks got drunk and decided to enhance her bust a little, only, it became a lot. As in, ridiculously so. Akitsu bowed and spoke briefly in Japanese to me, only for Natsuo to say, "Harry only speaks English, Akitsu."

She nodded, and, in accented English, said, "Thank you, Harry. That… _man_ was planning on altering the planned adjustments."

I smiled. "Hey, it's okay. He won't get to touch you again if I have anything to say about it."

She nodded again, and then, I noticed she seemed to be blushing strongly, and breathing heavily. Natsuo noticed too, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "She's reacting to you."

"You what?" I demanded. I already Winged three Sekirei, I didn't intend to expand my unintended harem.

"Look, just kiss her. Her powers are hard to control, it'll be better. I'll cover with Dr Sahashi."

"And with Karasuba?" I asked.

"Actually, you're on your own there," Natsuo said with a smile, right before Akitsu embraced me, and jammed my lips to her own…

* * *

Much to my surprise, when Karasuba came along a few minutes later, an enthusiastic-looking Sekirei in tow, instead of slicing me up, she merely sighed resignedly, especially after Natsuo explained the situation. "That figures."

"You're okay with this?" I asked incredulously, Akitsu looking petrified at the sight of Karasuba.

"It doesn't hurt to have more in the Discipline Squad, especially a Single Number with elemental powers," Karasuba said. "Besides, we're more flexible when it comes to…how do you put it? Polyamory? Otherwise, I wouldn't have let you Wing Haihane and Benitsubasa."

The Sekirei next to Karasuba asked something of the silver-haired swordswoman, who replied back. This new Sekirei was buxom, not as big as Akitsu, but I had to wonder whether she would get back pain from those large breasts of hers. She was dressed in what looked like a fetishized form of a shrine maiden's outfit, with a dangerously short skirt. She had dark hair, dark eyes, and a cheerful demeanour. Then, she said to me, in halting English, "You Harry, Karasuba Ashikabi? Me Musubi. Nice meet you!"

So, this was Musubi. Attractive and, it seemed, warmer-hearted than the other Sekirei I had met so far (though to be fair, I had only just met her and Akitsu, and had met no others beyond the Discipline Squad), and I made to shake her hand, only for Karasuba to block me. "She's still being adjusted," Karasuba said. "She might crush your hand by accident, and while it's tempting to see you screaming in pain, you actually managed to amuse me with that film."

"She's not reacting to me, is she?"

Karasuba translated for Musubi, who shook her head. "She's not reacting," Karasuba said. "Anyway, like I said, she's still being adjusted."

"I was just curious. And apprehensive," I said. "Life has a habit of crapping on me from a great height."

Natsuo snorted. "It can't be that bad."

"He had a terrorist targeting him back home, apparently," Karasuba said with a lazy wave of her hand.

"And my guardians were arseholes," I said.

Karasuba was about to say something, when she caught sight of something over my shoulder, and began chortling. "Speaking of assholes," she remarked.

I turned to find an irritated Haihane, dressed in a loose bathrobe, carrying a bruised and battered body over her shoulder. "Which one of you sent this moron to our bathing area to find Number 07?" she asked.

Karasuba, Akitsu and I immediately pointed to Natsuo, who shrugged indifferently. "He was doing unauthorised adjustments to Number 07," Natsuo said. "Oh, and you have a new addition to your Flock with Harry here."

Haihane gave Natsuo, then me and Akitsu, a searching look. Then, she said, "Benitsubasa beat him up, and she told me to drag him out. Where do I take this moron?"

"To one of the detention cells," Natsuo said. "Standard operating procedure."

Suddenly, Takeru coughed up a wad of blood, staining Haihane's bathrobe, and I blinked. "Umm, does he need medical treatment?"

"He was stupid enough to head to the Discipline Squad's private bathing area," Natsuo said. "I call that natural selection in action. He'll live. Maybe if Dr Sahashi is generous, he'll get a disability pension. Plus, Akitsu could have self-Winged, become a Scrapped Number. I believe it would be not unlike having a lobotomy."

I found myself still wavering, until Takeru looked up with a murderous scowl on his face, and saw Akitsu standing with me. Whatever he called Natsuo and Akitsu in Japanese, even with a bruised face and what could have been a jaw fracture, was obviously not flattering. Natsuo merely replied coolly, before indicating for Haihane to take him away. As Haihane did so, she hissed at her burden, in English, "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries."

Natsuo blinked in astonishment. Karasuba rolled her eyes. And Musubi merely tilted her head like a confused dog. So did Akitsu. And me? Well, I had just seen an alien woman wearing only a blood-covered bathrobe hauling a man around like a sack of potatoes, and quoting lines from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. So…Wednesday, then.

* * *

Karasuba decided to head back to her quarters (well, OUR quarters now) after taking Musubi back, and Natsuo decided to take me on a tour of the adjustment labs, Akitsu trailing behind almost like a lost puppy. In fact, after quickly checking through an observation window, he brought me into one of the adjustment labs, where Takami was working with another pair of Sekirei.

Takami looked up sharply when we entered, and asked Natsuo an annoyed question in Japanese. As Natsuo replied, I looked at the two Sekirei present, both, thankfully, not dressed in the same surgical gown as Akitsu, but in normal clothes. They were the youngest I had seen yet. One of them appeared to be a boy in his mid-teens at the latest, with the silvery hair a number of Sekirei seemed to have, while the other seemed to be a girl of perhaps five or six, with long, messy blonde hair and green eyes. Both were peering at me curiously.

Takami pinched the bridge of her nose, just as Natsuo did, and quickly checked the two Sekirei she was with. Sighing in relief, she said to me, "I guess I should be grateful. That moron Takeru could have caused a disaster. And I'm glad these two aren't reacting to you either."

"And who are they?" I asked, glad that I wasn't reacting to them either. I didn't want to be labelled a paedophile, after all.

"107 and 108," Takami said. "Shiina and Kusano. Shiina's abilities cause him to inflict rot and decay on the things he touches, and Kusano grows things, though her specific influence is over plants."

Kusano tugged at Takami's leg, and asked something in Japanese. Takami blinked, before she said, "She wanted to know if you can be a big brother to her like Shiina."

I shrugged. "I don't mind. I never really had a sister or a brother. Just a bullying fat whale of a cousin. You don't mind?"

"No. In truth, the Sekirei don't get much chance for social interaction outside of their adjusters and handlers. I've heard rumours that the adjuster of Number 09, for example, is a misandrist, and is inflicting her views on Number 09. That is going to be a disaster, I just know it. Minaka finds it hilarious. As long as you come along without Karasuba, I'm sure it will be fine. The only Sekirei who doesn't really fear her is Musubi, and she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, as you British say." She then said something to Natsuo, who left. She then looked at me. "Minaka knows who you really are."

I looked askance at her. "Oh?" My tone was carefully tailored to suggest that who I was really wasn't that impressive. And aside from being a damned good Quidditch player and (by necessity) a half-decent dark wizard slayer, my life wasn't all that impressive.

"Don't be an idiot. He's what you British call a Squib," Takami snapped irritably. "I didn't even know you idiots existed until people from the Ministry of Magic turned up on our doorstep. I know you're a wizard, Harry. And so too does Minaka…"

 **CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, the secret's out, and Akitsu has been saved from becoming a Scrapped Number. Much of the scene where Akitsu is saved is derived from an equivalent sequence from** ** _Angry, Angry Wizards_** **, though Natsuo wasn't present in that fic. Harry meeting Shiina and Kusano, and not Winging them, was also inspired by that fic.**

 **We also have the appearance of Musubi, speaking English far worse than Shenhua from** ** _Black Lagoon_** **ever did. Let's face it, Musubi is an idiot. She's not going to be learning English very well. And she'll be more of a peripheral character in this story for obvious reasons.**

 **1\. Marvin the Android says the same thing about his sense of happiness in** ** _Life, the Universe, and Everything_** **.**

 **2\. A famous courtesan of myth from 12** **th** **century Japan who was said to have been a kitsune. Tamamo is also one of the Heroic Spirits who can be summoned as a Caster (as well as a Berserker) in the Nasuverse, and ends up being Naruto's Servant in sakurademonalchemist's** ** _Fate/Stay Night/Naruto_** **crossover** ** _Naruto Emiya_** **, which I recommend.**

 **3\. Tokiomi Takeru (well, Takeru Tokiomi: I assumed 'Tokiomi' was the given name) was the name given to Akitsu's ill-fated adjuster in** ** _Angry, Angry Wizards_** **.**


	5. Chapter 4: Four Sekirei and a Wizard

**CHAPTER 4:**

 **FOUR SEKIREI AND A WIZARD ASHIKABI**

"So…you're a wizard," Haihane said flatly, cocking her head. It was not long after Takami revealed that she and Minaka knew who I was. I had been given leave to tell my Sekirei, but nobody else. Which was why I was back in the HQ of the Discipline Squad. Karasuba was polishing her sword, and Akitsu was sitting on a newly-added bed.

"So…you're a superpowered woman from outer space," I said, mirroring her gesture. She snorted and chuckled, despite my mimicking her. She seemed to admit that I had a point.

"Prove it!" Benitsubasa demanded.

I sighed, before pulling out my wand. " _Reducto!_ " I snapped, firing a spell at the wall, digging a nice crater. " _Reparo!_ " The crater repaired itself. " _Wingardium Leviosa!_ " I pointed the wand at Benitsubasa, who shrieked like a little girl (and that bust size wasn't helping the impression) as she was lifted into the air, before being gently lowered in front of me. "And no, I don't weigh the same as a duck."

"Haven't you got anything more…destructive?" Karasuba asked as her pink-haired comrade glared at me.

"I don't want to bring this building down," I said. _Yet_ , I added in the privacy of my own noggin.

"And that teleporting thing you did while fighting me?" Haihane asked.

"Apparition. Did I use any spells against you?"

"Not that I could tell," Karasuba said. "You seemed content to play matador with Haihane until we started reacting to you. It was most amusing, to tell the truth. So, this terrorist you mentioned…?"

"Was a dark wizard, yes. Called himself Voldemort, but his real name was Tom Marvolo Riddle," I said. "And yes, he looked like his mother fucked a snake. Well, when I knew him, anyway."

"Wizards are real?" Akitsu asked, tilting her head quizzically. I would learn that was a particular quirk of hers, though Haihane also did it at times.

"And? I'm sitting in a room with four superpowered alien women. Incidentally, Akitsu, what is your ability?"

"Ah…I am an elemental type Sekirei. I have absolute control over ice," she said. Her voice, when she was calm, was soft and subdued.

"Yeah, speaking of which, why did you have to go and Wing Frosty the Big-Breasted Snow-Woman there?!" Benitsubasa snapped irritably, jabbing her thumb over at Akitsu.

"Hey, it wasn't planned, she was reacting to me!" I protested. "I didn't want a harem! Believe it or not, it's not every single heterosexual male's fantasy!"

Benitsubasa growled in annoyance. She was like a pink-haired pitbull. Haihane, meanwhile, was chortling, and even Karasuba's smirk seemed to have less malice and more mirth in it. Well, less _murderous_ malice. She was clearly enjoying my discomfort. I remember some medical slang Hermione once shared with me, and I remember one particularly rude one that she was reluctant to explain to me. Karasuba's smile screamed that acronym: AMYOYO. Or, Alright Motherfucker, You're On Your Own.

"You Winged her because she's got bigger breasts than me, didn't you?!" Benitsubasa snapped. "Admit it!"

Annoyed, I snapped back. "No, I Winged her because her personality was better than yours." Not quite true, as she had all but jumped me, but then again, Akitsu was already endearing herself to me far better than Benitsubasa was.

"I have a great personality!"

"And I'm Minaka's long-lost cousin(1)," I retorted.

"Really?" Akitsu asked in curiosity.

"It's called sarcasm, Akitsu," I sighed.

"Ah."

"See? She's an idiot!" Benitsubasa crowed.

"Hello Pot, my name is Kettle. You're black," I retorted.

Benitsubasa blinked. "What?"

"It's an English idiom, Benitsubasa," Karasuba sighed, apparently tiring of the fight. "He's saying that you're a hypocrite for calling Number 07 an idiot when you are acting like one yourself. Anyway, I tire of this bickering. I am tempted to terminate you here and now. And as for our Ashikabi…have you ever heard of _yubitsume?_ "

"Uhh, should I?" I asked, dreading where this was going.

"It's a quaint little custom amongst the Japanese criminal gangs known as the Yakuza. It involves the victim severing the first knuckle of their little finger as a form of penance. I've done it a few times." I glanced at her hands, which were intact. Noticing where my gaze was, her smirk returned. "Oh, I didn't do it to _myself_."

Oh yes, I had to keep reminding myself that Karasuba was a vicious, sadistic and callous sociopath, _at best_. I just gave her a flat look. "Try it, and I will ensure that you have the runs for the rest of your natural life."

"The runs?" Haihane asked.

"He means that I would need more toilet breaks than I normally would," Karasuba said, apparently unfazed by my threat. "You have spirit, I'll give you that."

"Legacy of a misspent youth," I said(2).

"Clearly," she said.

After a moment, I decided to change the uncomfortable subject. Thankfully, said uncomfortable subject had derailed Benitsubasa's little hissy fit against me. "Okay, so, from what Takami has said, we have a little under two years before they start releasing the Sekirei in earnest. I'm not going to go out of my way to recruit more Sekirei into this little group, unless they actually react to me. That being said, we are going to be policing the Sekirei Game somewhat more."

"In what way?" Haihane asked.

"Part of the problem is unwilling Wingings," I pointed out. "I'm sure that all of you can agree that unwilling Wingings are a bad thing. Leaving aside the fact that this traps the Sekirei in a relationship they shouldn't be in, it also, from what Takami told me of what Winging entails, stunts their power. I'm sure Minaka wouldn't care as long as he is entertained. That being said, are there any Sekirei currently out and about?"

"A few," Haihane said. "Number 01 owns a boarding house, Maison Izumo, in the north of Shinto Teito. However, she promised to remain neutral due to promises made to her late husband."

Karasuba snorted. "Miya was weak to let a human into her heart, especially someone who wasn't an Ashikabi, let alone her own."

I glanced at her, before I asked, "Any others?"

"06, Homura, resides with her," Haihane said. "03, Kazehana, also roams the city."

"Wait, did you say Kazehana?" I demanded. "She was a Sekirei?!"

Karasuba raised an eyebrow. "You met her?"

"I drank with her in a bar before I got it into my head to vandalise this place," I groaned. "I got pissed off at Minaka treating her so badly. And now I remember, she seemed disappointed that I wasn't her Ashikabi."

Karasuba snorted. "That lush reacted to Minaka, and he blew her off. Apparently he was Takami's lover for a time, though she regrets that. And you acted like that idiot knight from that film, Lancelot, wasn't it? And you went charging off. I'd love to see that lush's face when she finds out that you Winged me."

"Anyway," Haihane said, "of the others, there are also two Single Numbers AWOL. 05, Mutsu, went wandering after the breakup of the first Discipline Squad. 02, Matsu, stole something from MBI and disappeared after fleeing this place. We think she's hiding out with Number 01. Minaka doesn't really care what she does anymore, apparently, as long as she doesn't do anything with what she stole."

"And what did she steal?" I asked.

"I don't know," Haihane said with a shrug. I noticed that Karasuba seemed to know, but wasn't saying anything.

"Okay, so, two Single Numbers AWOL, and a few others elsewhere," I mused. I think I would go and pay a visit to Maison Izumo in the near future, and find out more about this Number 01 Sekirei, and why she was staying neutral. While I was angry about someone who could be so powerful doing little to stop it, I thought that at least Miya might have a good reason, or at least an understandable one. Unlike a certain old goat who shall remain nameless.

 _COUGH! Dumbledore COUGH!_

Sorry, had something in my throat. Maybe it was a lemon sherbet.

* * *

After dinner, I told Haihane about the scar-removal salves I had gotten. While they wouldn't work on her oldest scars, they would heal, or at least reduce the size of the more recent scars. When she realised what I had done for her, she actually blushed slightly. In fact, she asked me to rub it in for her, a request I was startled by.

Benitsubasa decided to retire for the night, annoyed that Haihane got the attention, while Karasuba decided to go and meditate. Or maybe she daydreamed about mass murder. She looked like the type to be polite, be efficient, and have a plan to kill everyone she met. Akitsu, however, decided to stay with me and Haihane.

I transformed a desk into a massage table, and Haihane, without any bidding, stripped her clothes off, along with her bandages. I found it a continual surprise as to how disinhibited Sekirei were. Even now, Akitsu, who had been given something to wear other than surgical scrubs, favoured a light grey kimono-like set of robes that stopped barely short of a wardrobe malfunction, showing off a good amount of her cleavage.

As I prepared to rub the salve into her body, and try not to do anything untoward to her (I barely knew this woman), I asked, "Do you guys have much of a nudity taboo?"

Haihane shrugged. "Most of us have less than humans," she said. "Though Benitsubasa is a bit of a prude. It's probably because she's…what do they say in English? Flat-chested. She has issues. I don't like perverts per se, but I don't mind being naked. I don't know about Karasuba, though. I like fighting and all, but I get the feeling her favourite underwear is the blood of her enemies."

"She is the Black Sekirei," Akitsu commented as I began to rub the salve into Haihane's body. "Only Number 01 has a higher bodycount. And from what I know, she's nowhere near as bad."

"I don't know whether a lack of nudity taboo is due to our basic psyche, or due to being raised in a lab," Haihane said. She closed her eyes, and smiled gently as she savoured my massage. I was struck by how beautiful she looked. Not just physical beauty, but also, that gentleness. Okay, she wielded honking great big clawed gauntlets over her hands that would make Wolverine envious, and she looked a little creepy, but she was also quite endearing.

It occurred to me, as I continued this, that this was the first time I had engaged in such an intimate activity with a woman, even if it wasn't actually sex. True, I had woken up with three naked Sekirei hemming me in, but I was actively touching her naked body, and she was allowing me to. I had to concentrate very hard to avoid lingering on the more intimate areas of her body.

I was soon finished with the front of her body, and Haihane, reluctantly, rolled over and allowed me to do her back. As I continued, I looked at Akitsu. "Are you all right?"

"Ah…yes."

"Well, why are you here, Akitsu? Are you hoping for a massage too?"

"Ah…if you want." Her face fell. "But…it's mostly out of gratitude."

"For what?"

"…For saving me from that adjuster. Natsuo was right. I could have self-Winged, becoming a Scrapped Number."

"And what does that entail?" I asked. "I mean, I can tell that's bad, especially as Natsuo said it's like being lobotomized…"

"If a Sekirei self-Wings, it means that they cannot find their Ashikabi," Akitsu said. "Imagine being unable to feel love, to be able to be complete. That is what being a Scrapped Number entails. I don't think it's ever happened to any of us, and I am grateful that you saved me from such a fate."

I looked at her, before nodding. "If that's the case, so am I."

Haihane sighed. "Believe me, you saved her from a pretty nasty fate, Harry. Becoming a Scrapped Number is something we heard horror stories about. The scientists, including Takami, considered it a theoretical possibility." She emitted a gentle moan of pleasure, and murmured, "This stuff is great. Thanks for getting it."

"You're welcome. I thought you'd appreciate it." I finished rubbing the salve into her, and let her get up. Wholly unconcerned about her nudity, she clasped my head in her hands, and kissed me, ethereal wings of energy appearing behind her. Now, the first time I saw those was when I Winged Akitsu, and I had been surprised. This was my first time (outside of being drunk, and I couldn't remember that) that I saw Haihane's. And her mouth was warm, and had a faint metallic tang to it. Possibly blood, but I didn't know for sure. Those wings were one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

Haihane, after letting me go, smirked, and then beckoned Akitsu over. "Your turn," she said.

Akitsu nodded eagerly, and then kissed me herself. Wings of light appeared, looking like beautiful crystals of ice. Her mouth tasted of mint, cool and sharp. As we broke it off, I remarked, "You guys are very affectionate, aren't you?"

"It's not just that," Akitsu said. "We gain more power through our kisses. By kissing, and reciting an incantation, we can use a Norito, a powerful technique unique to each of us."

Haihane nodded as she dressed herself in her tattered kimono, not bothering with the bandages for now. "The boost to our power is temporary, but it's potent. The power of the Norito is also dependent on how strong the bond is with our Ashikabi. Not that we'll have much call to use it, save against other Sekirei."

After a moment, I couldn't help but remark, "Your species is weird. Not that I'm complaining about the whole kissing thing, it's just…"

"I'm surprised," Haihane said. "From what little I see of humans, your kind would be leaping at the chance to kiss beautiful women."

"Yeah, but…when you actually think about it, when you think about women and men who bond to others forever with just a kiss…it's actually a little disturbing. Especially when the Sekirei doesn't have a reaction. It's like slavery."

"Harry, you don't need to worry about that. We reacted to you. We still have wills of our own. For us, to react to an Ashikabi is to actually fall in love, not to be filled with lust," Haihane explained. "It is alien to you, but to us, it's perfectly natural."

I sighed. "Okay. But we're going to be waiting a while before we take anything further than that, okay? I mean, I'd prefer to get to know you before then. I'm not going to abandon you, I just want to know you a little better."

Akitsu and Haihane looked a little disappointed, but nodded. It may seem odd to some people why I would refuse sex from beautiful alien women…but like I said, I wanted to actually get to know them first. I mean, I literally had only known them for a single day, after all, and if I was going to bed them as soon as I can, well, it sounded like something out of a poorly-written book.

Then again, story of my life…

 **CHAPTER 4 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Yeah, as cracky as this fic will be, Harry is not going to be having sex with his Flock just yet. The next chapter will have something of a timeskip, to when Harry meets Miya.**

 **Now, Akitsu's personality, I decided would still be subdued and quiet, as in canon, but more expressive and less filled with 'Ah…', as she is in fanfics. Oh, and incidentally, if Haihane seems odd, giving an info-dump, I'd imagine she knows more than she lets on. That, and she's the most genuinely friendly Sekirei to Harry so far.**

 **Review-answering time! I'm astonished at the attention this story has already. Thanks.**

 **Guest** **(regarding Akitsu being a boon for the Discipline Squad): I know. While Akitsu is Winged by Harry in** ** _Angry, Angry Wizards_** **and becomes part of the Discipline Squad, I thought it a good idea anyway to try and give the Discipline Squad some more members to make it a bit more balanced. I'm currently considering adding Hikari and Hibiki, along with Yahan, to the Squad later in the fic.**

 **Ultimate-Zelda-Fan** **: Ah. Well, I got the impression that Akitsu was more buxom than Musubi, but maybe that's partly due to the way she's dressed. Seriously, if it weren't for those chains, she'd be one wrong move from a wardrobe malfunction.**

 **1\. Which is actually the case in** ** _Angry, Angry Wizards_** **.**

 **2\. In gabriel blessing's** ** _Fate/Stay Night/Sekirei_** **crossover** ** _In Flight_** **(very much a Marmite fic), this phrase is used by Shirou to cover abilities that he shouldn't have.**


	6. Chapter 5: The Hannya of the North

**CHAPTER 5:**

 **THE HANNYA OF THE NORTH**

So, my life went back into a routine of sorts. I'd wake up each day with my Sekirei hemming me in, while naked. I'd supervise the training of the Discipline Squad. I'd go down to the adjustment labs to visit Kusano and Shiina, usually with Haihane and/or Akitsu in tow. Sometimes, I'd even meet Musubi, using a Translation Charm to talk to her. A couple of times, I had to have a meeting with Minaka, who showed himself to be spectacularly unconcerned with the fact that I vanquished Voldemort. He either underestimated me, or, and I do believe this was more likely despite appearances, he had enough failsafes and contingency plans to not be worried.

I hated meeting with him, and got along better with Takami, even if she helped enable his insane plan. It was she who explained something of Minaka's past. Apparently the crazy fuck had been booted out of his Pureblood family for being a Squib (big surprise), and had vowed revenge. In fact, the starting capital for the company that became MBI actually came from his family's coffers. After he had them murdered via the services of a magical Yakuza he had acquired the services of.

Magic, it seemed, had bored Minaka. The potential was enormous, but he felt that mages had squandered it. But in the Sekirei, he saw something truly grand. Something that appealed to his crazy little megalomaniacal heart. He wanted to be the Game Master of a grand game of the gods.

I also got to know my Sekirei. Of them, I got along best with Haihane and Akitsu, though that's pretty obvious. Benitsubasa took some time to get used to, but once I made it clear I was not going to hold her lack of breasts against her, she began to warm up a little. Still had something of a temper, but she also had this romantic side to her that began to endear her to me, though she didn't want to share with Haihane and Akitsu.

Karasuba, well, I'm not sure whether I would ever get used to her. That being said, she actually listened to me when I discussed the pros and cons of using pranks as opposed to killing everyone in sight. What was more, she was intrigued by the concept of non-lethal but mentally-scarring pranks, and hopefully, given time, I could convert her to doing that, instead of planning to put humanity to the sword, along with her own species.

After about a week of this routine, I eventually decided I needed to find out more about the mysterious 01, aka Miya Asama. I had learned from Haihane that Karasuba was most definitely not welcome anywhere near Miya. And as Benitsubasa didn't really have any knowledge of tact, I decided to just bring Haihane and Akitsu. It was partly so I could confirm that I was part of the Sekirei Plan from the outset to her, and partly in case things got nasty, as I might need backup. After all, I was going into the lion's den, so to speak.

I used Apparition to get most of the way there. Haihane and Akitsu didn't like the sensation. In fact, Akitsu nearly froze my underpants over in retaliation. The rest of the way, we walked in the early morning air.

And then, we came to it. An old-style Japanese house, two-storeys, probably a mansion by Japanese standards. And there, sweeping the footpath just outside the wall, was Miya Asama.

I have to admit, had I not known who she really was, I would have been fooled. Lavender hair aside, she looked very much human, even normal, if somewhat old-fashioned, dressed in an old-style kimono or whatever the dress was. She was quite beautiful, and there was even a vaguely maternal air to her.

But I also had to remember, this woman, according to Karasuba, had once sliced apart a battle-fleet with her sword…using the mere shockwaves of her swinging said blade to do damage. And she had plenty of cause to hate MBI, as well as Karasuba. If Matsu was really hiding out with Miya, there was a very good chance that Matsu had hacked into MBI's systems and found out about my Flock already.

Still, better to try and make a potential ally. Even if she couldn't help me bring down Minaka directly, she might have information I could use. Hopefully, unlike Dumbledore, she'd actually be forthcoming. Maybe she even had a cunning plan, or knew someone with one.

She looked up as we approached, and smiled a gentle, welcoming smile. "Ah, welcome," she said. "Are you looking to rent a room?"

"No. But I am looking for information, Miya Asama," I said. "I'd like to discuss a few things if you don't mind. My name is Harry Potter. You may be familiar with Akitsu and Haihane."

I got the feeling that a mask had been dropped away, and she peered at me scrutinisingly. Her smile lessened somewhat. After some considerable time, she nodded. "Very well. But I must remind you that, amongst other things, no lewd or violent behaviour will be tolerated at Maison Izumo." Suddenly, a strange, vaguely malevolent aura appeared, with a vision of a demonic mask, right out of a Japanese play, edged out from behind her. "Am I understood?" she asked in a sweet, benign tone that nonetheless managed to convey a heavy threat.

We hastily nodded in sync. I had to wonder, though, did they give this woman the abilities of a Dementor or something? It wasn't an aura of unhappiness and cold, just dread and fear. Even so, fuck me if she wasn't more frightening than Karasuba, and that was saying something…

* * *

We were soon seated in the living room of Maison Izumo, with Miya sitting across from us. "So, what can I do for you, Mr Potter? Given that you have Winged a Sekirei I am fairly sure hasn't been released yet, you must work for MBI."

"I was conscripted. Long story short, I had Kazehana as a drinking partner, she told me how Minaka dumped her, and I, in a fit of drunken stupidity and valour, decided to sneak into MBI and prank him. I ended up Winging three Sekirei who reacted to me, including Haihane here. I Winged Benitsubasa…and a certain Sekirei I am told you have banned from coming here."

Miya frowned. "I must confess myself surprised that someone would cause that woman to react. Karasuba is a vile, spiteful woman, and I doubted she would deign to be anyone's Sekirei. I would ask you, Mr Potter, that you do not bring her up any further if you can help it. Karasuba was indirectly responsible for the death of my husband."

"Your Ashikabi?"

Miya shook her head. "Takehito was no Ashikabi, but I fell in love with him all the same. If you know something about me and my past, then you must understand that it was a vow I made to Takehito that prevents me from acting against Minaka."

I scowled, before I said, "I'm not happy about it…but I can understand that. That being said, I would appreciate any help you can give me, Mrs Asama."

"Please call me Miya," Miya said. "Despite your association with MBI and…that woman, my husband made it a habit of not turning away people seeking help, and as you yourself seem to have no love lost for Minaka, I will give you the benefit of the doubt, for now, Mr Potter."

I nodded. "Thanks. Call me Harry if you want. I was called 'Mr Potter' too many times by teachers. And I'm not exactly thrilled to be Winged to Karasuba myself, though I'm hoping to channel her impulses in ways that won't be as destructive." On her curious look, I clarified, "Pranks."

"Ah. Well then, Harry, what did you want to ask me?"

"Well, there's more than a few things I wanted to ask, information about the Sekirei without MBI's slant on it, but frankly, you don't have much of a reason to trust me with that, especially given our mutual acquaintance. What I wanted to ask you was whether you wanted to pool resources to help get the Sekirei to their Ashikabi, specifically to those whom they react to."

Miya considered this. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"Well, any Ashikabi can Wing a Sekirei, right? But Sekirei are only supposed to be Winged by those they react to. So, aside from enforcing the rules, I was going to have the Discipline Squad help police the Unwinged Sekirei when they are released, ensure that they aren't unwillingly Winged by unscrupulous Ashikabi. Obviously, we can't help them all, and I was wondering if you had anyone willing to help out. They don't have to collaborate with Karasuba or Minaka, just with me. I know you have Homura living here, and there's rumours that Matsu is here too." She didn't so much as flinch. "Apparently Minaka doesn't care about her being on the run anymore, as long as she doesn't bandy about whatever she stole."

Miya said, "Well, Homura may be willing to help. I believe he has an arrangement with Takami to protect Unwinged Sekirei when they are released. And I am sure that Kazehana would be willing to help too, though I must confess myself annoyed that she caused you to be conscripted by MBI."

" _You're_ annoyed?" I asked wryly. I noticed she never said anything about Matsu.

Miya merely smiled, before turning her attention to Akitsu. "You haven't spoken about Akitsu."

"She was my fourth," I said. "I intercepted her running from an adjuster who was apparently going against Takami's orders. She reacted to me, and, well, all but jumped me. Not that I'm complaining, mind, in hindsight. The current Discipline Squad was highly specialised towards physical fighters, an elemental type would be great. Plus, she's nice. I needed another nice Sekirei to balance out Karasuba and Benitsubasa, in hindsight."

Miya's smile grew softer, but more warm. "I'm glad. So, you intend to make the Discipline Squad somewhat more proactive?"

"Yes. Minaka won't like it, but he can go fuck himself with a knobbly stick. _Sideways_."

Miya frowned. "While I appreciate the sentiment and what you have done for them, crude language is forbidden within Maison Izumo."

"Meh, I'm an unrepentant anti-authoritarian iconoclast," I said. "Minaka should be pissing his pants given my reputation."

Miya brought out that mask and aura again. "I _said_ , crude language is forbidden within Maison Izumo."

Now, I had to admit, the aura was intimidating. But I'd be damned if I didn't give her a little sass back. Call it my tendency to be Gryffindor, aka borderline suicidal. "Bugger me, what the fuck is that shit? Bloody hell, what the crap is with that bastard of a mask!"

And it sort of went downhill from there…

* * *

After a bit of back and forth, we finally managed to get things back on track. Miya agreed that, as long as Karasuba wasn't directly involved in any collaboration, she would be amenable to my helping Homura keep an eye out for the Unwinged Sekirei. And while I was far from happy about her staying out of this mess and not trying to do something about it, I could understand why to some degree, what with her grief, and her vow. That, and given what Haihane said, that if Miya ever took up arms again, Karasuba would fight her…and it was more than likely that most of Shinto Teito would end up as a crater. And while Karasuba wouldn't let a pesky little thing like collateral damage bother her…Miya clearly did. So keeping out of it to avoid collateral damage, I could respect that.

As we left, Haihane and Akitsu were shivering a little from the after-effects of dealing with that damned aura and mask. "Don't ever do anything like that again," Haihane hissed.

"Hey, she could stand to lighten up a touch," I said. "And not act like a beautiful Dementor. And I can't believe I said that out loud. Hey, Akitsu, are you all right?"

"Can't sleep, _Hannya_ will eat me. Can't sleep, _Hannya_ will eat me. Can't sleep, _Hannya_ will eat me…"

"I don't know whether you have a death wish, or cojones the size of bowling balls," Haihane said.

"Honestly? I don't know either. I was part of Gryffindor at my old school, which was a house filled with those who rushed in where angels feared to tread." I rubbed my hands together. "Now, as compensation for my putting you two through that…should we spend the rest of the day at Shinto Teito Disneyland?"

Haihane and Akitsu seemed very amenable to the idea. And to be honest, I hoped to enjoy myself there as well.

* * *

And in a perverse way, it became my first date with them. It was certainly my first date with two women involved. And I had to thank my lucky stars that Akitsu and Haihane got along with each other as well as they did with me. Thankfully, I had stopped by MBI to change their clothes first. They still got a few stares, though.

But you know what? It was a good time. We had fun. And I reckon that we needed to have times like this. The Sekirei were named for the Japanese Wagtail. They were caged birds, caged by MBI. And I knew, even as I looked at Haihane and Akitsu smiling, that I would try my best to set them free…

 **CHAPTER 5 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, there you have it. Harry's encountered Miya, and had a little date with Haihane and Akitsu.**

 **Actually, the whole thing with the Shinto Teito Disneyland thing for a date came from another fanfic, I realised after finishing this chapter. Namely** ** _Master of Discipline_** **by lord of the land of fire. Minato, in that story, takes Haihane on a trip to Tokyo Disneyland.**

 **Review-answering time!** **DocSlendy** **: She's certainly mine. There's something endearing about her, even if she is creepy. Certainly the scene in the sake warehouse where she gets drunk off fumes if hilarious. This story will have Benitsubasa become better, though.**

 **Ranmaleopard** **: While Kazehana gets Winged by Harry in** ** _Angry, Angry Wizards_** **, I have no plans to have her Winged by him in this fic.**

 **No numbered annotations.**


	7. Chapter 6: Of Pranks and Preparations

**CHAPTER 6:**

 **OF PRANKS AND PREPARATIONS**

"So, what do you think?" Karasuba purred.

I grimaced at the images she had shown me. "You're going to force a bunch of Sekirei to watch films on VD," I said flatly.

"As a prank. Well?"

After a moment's consideration, I said, "Keep the kids out of it. And Tsukiumi. I'm trying to repair the damage that damned adjuster of hers caused. I don't know whether the adjuster did that deliberately or inadvertently. I hope it's the latter."

Which was a task and a half to say the least. Tsukiumi spoke in an older dialect of Japanese that my translation charm seemed to make into pseudo-Shakespearean English. She was also stubborn, and I had to ensure that Akitsu stood in with me when I met her, as her ice powers were a perfect counter to Tsukiumi's water abilities. I was beginning to swing Tsukiumi around to the idea that an Ashikabi was like a husband, though I had to wonder what her reaction would be if she ended up in a Flock with other Sekirei. I'd certainly pity her Ashikabi then.

Karasuba pouted. "You're no fun."

I sighed quietly. She wasn't pouting out of any genuine need to pout. Karasuba didn't do cute. She was doing it because she was playing with me. It had been a couple of weeks since my meeting with Miya, and Karasuba was coming around to my idea of using pranks to slake her thirst for sadism. To tell the truth, we were beginning to bond. Slowly but surely. It didn't hurt that, while I had significant qualms about her genocidal tendencies toward both humans and her own kind, I had little issue about her killing people who deserved it, especially in a horrid manner, and I told her as such.

In fact, I was considering finding a way to bring Dolores Umbridge here for Karasuba to…entertain herself with. I once heard about incidents in Hamburg, Germany where toads exploded after crows managed to peck out their livers(1). As Karasuba's name meant 'crow-feathers' and Umbridge was basically a toad in human form…well, I found the imagery that caused appealing.

"I think you should drag some of the MBI staff to it, too," I said. "Including Minaka."

"Oh, don't worry," Karasuba said with a vicious grin. "Remember that film you showed us? _A Clockwork Orange?_ I managed to get a few of those things that hold your eyelids open like in that movie."

NOW she was talking! "Hah! I want photos! And plenty of copies. I can think of plenty of people who would pay good money to see Minaka like that!"

"Like Miya?" Karasuba purred.

I chuckled. I had visited Miya a couple of times over the past few weeks, and after the mildly rocky beginning, we were, if not friends by any means, then on good terms. I also met Homura at last, a silver-haired androgynous Sekirei, and one of the few males. While calm and collected most of the time, he did offer to pay for any photos or video of Minaka being humiliated. As did Miya.

And as did Kazehana. I finally met her again, and that was, well, awkward, given how it was indirectly thanks to her that I had been conscripted into MBI as the Discipline Squad's Ashikabi. I told her bluntly I wasn't drinking with her again. We did manage to make up, and she did think that my targeting Minaka for pranks would help her get over her guilt for what she got me into.

I also got to meet Matsu, at long last, after a lot of Miya running rings around me. I have to admit, we did hit it off. She didn't react to me (which would have been awkward, given that I was the Ashikabi of the Discipline Squad), but we certainly bonded over a mutual hatred of Minaka, a mutual desire to help the other Sekirei, and a mutual desire to annoy Miya. I promised her some prank supplies on the quiet to help with the latter.

"How was your date with Benitsubasa, anyway?" Karasuba asked.

"Surprisingly good," I replied. And it had been. Benitsubasa had been getting jealous of Haihane and Akitsu getting more attention than she was, and demanded a date from me. We had a nice dinner date and a movie, and I have to say, Benitsubasa seemed appreciative of it. I think she was beginning to have less anger issues, or at least overt ones. I managed to reassure her that I was more worried about her temperament than the size of her breasts.

Benitsubasa was a walking pile of complexes with a hair-trigger temper, but underneath it all, she was a passionate young woman who, like Kazehana, waxed lyrical about the power of love. And while I can't help but want to retch when she goes over the top about the matter (it comes from being spoonfed that bullshit by Dumbledore), she's all right. And once she realised I would accept her better if she was less ornery, she got better. More affectionate, less stroppy.

Karasuba snorted. "Given what you told us about your past, I'm not surprised more girls weren't falling over themselves to date you. Either gold diggers or girls who wanted to bask in your reflected fame."

"I didn't want that," I said bitterly. "I got famous for something my mum did, something that she died doing. Anyway, the wizarding world couldn't make up its mind whether I was its messiah, or a dark wizard on the make, or a deluded attention whore."

Karasuba chuckled darkly, as was her wont to do. "Sounds like you had more balls than the rest of those sheep put together. I'm surprised you didn't let them wipe each other out."

"Unlike you, my dear Karasuba, I actually have a conscience," I snarked back at her.

"A conscience?" Karasuba asked, tilting her head and giving a puzzled expression that didn't fool me one jot. "Is that some sort of dish? Like humble pie?"

Yeah. She's like that.

* * *

It was later. Karasuba had gone off to do her own training, while Haihane, Akitsu, and Benitsubasa had joined me in the living room of our quarters, as I studied the files I had been given on the Sekirei. Benitsubasa was scowling as she sat as close to be as she could on my left side, with Akitsu and Haihane on my right. "So, why are you studying these files, anyway? It's boring."

"Think of it as school homework: a necessary evil," I responded.

"I wouldn't know. I didn't go to school," Benitsubasa said proudly. "We were tutored about how the world works."

"Okay, well, that aside, what is the Discipline Squad's purpose?"

"…Are you trying to be funny?"

Haihane sighed. "He's asking a rhetorical question, Benitsubasa. What he is trying to say is that we need to occasionally attack and deal with Sekirei who are a problem, and he's doing research into the Sekirei we may encounter."

"Oh, I get it now. Know your enemy," Benitsubasa said. "Why didn't you say so?"

"I was getting to that point," I said. "But it's not just that, though the whole 'know thy enemy' thing is the main part. I'm looking for possible new recruits. And before you get angry, Beni…can I call you Beni?"

Struck by the fact that I gave her a nickname, she actually blushed slightly, and said, "Umm, if you want."

"Okay, Beni, first things first: I will not Wing any other Sekirei unless they react to me. Secondly, if they don't react to me, but to someone else, particularly someone with ties to MBI, I might recruit them as an adjunct team of the Discipline Squad."

"Yeah, but do we need anyone else?" Beni asked.

"Just call me paranoid, but I think we do. Do you know what homogeneity means?"

Beni shook her head. She wasn't stupid, but her education and training, I would learn, was fairly specialised. Hell, I only knew the word thanks to discussion with Hermione about potions.

"Okay, well, to be homogenous is to be extremely similar. Now, before I Winged Akitsu, what was so similar about the Discipline Squad?"

To her credit, Beni caught on quickly, and looked thoughtful. "We're physical attackers. I'm a fist type with some earth elemental abilities, while Karasuba and Haihane use weapons. I get what you mean now. In the unlikely event that we have someone who can counter physical attack…"

"Exactly. Akitsu helps redress that, but I've been looking through the dossiers, and noted a few Sekirei that I haven't met yet, but who could be a boon to the Discipline Squad if they react with me. Even if they don't, we can use them as our agents at the very least."

I handed Beni the dossiers I had earmarked. Hikari and Hibiki, for example, Number 11 and 12. Nicknamed the Lightning Twins for obvious reasons, given their electricity-based powers. While not Single Numbers, they were close enough in terms of raw power. Number 57, Yahan, capable of moving through shadows with ease. Good for recon and spying. And there was Number 10, Uzume, capable of manipulating an ultra-strong cloth for defence and offence. And it was better than that sounds: I found myself staring in awe at footage of Uzume in action.

What I needed were more elemental types, if I could get any to react to me. I refused to let any join unless they reacted to me, or else I could persuade their Ashikabi to work under me. I mooted the possibility with Takami, who thought it made sense, though selling that to Minaka would be an issue (because, well, he had a worse deficit of common sense than most wizards and witches, and that was saying something). In any case, the Discipline Squad, as it stood now, had more of an emphasis on weapon users. And homogeneity was a weakness. If you had a Sekirei able to counter a weapon user, then it was game over, even if Karasuba was one of the strongest Sekirei.

I had to wonder why Karasuba assented to being Winged by me? She did, after all, have a misanthropic attitude, and not just towards humans, but towards her fellow Sekirei. I also learned that she was a great believer in strength on her own.

But on occasion, I glimpsed something else. Something that made me realise that there was more to Karasuba than a sadistic killing machine. I see something in her eyes whenever I mention the late Takehito Asama, a strange sort of wistfulness, mixed in with her usual disdain. And it made me wonder, had Karasuba fallen in love with the man who would shack up with Miya? Was this why their rancour was so bitter?

I didn't know, and I didn't care to pry. I like my genitals where they are, thank you very muchly.

Beni read over the dossiers, before handing them back to me. I then handed them to Akitsu and Haihane. "I see what you mean," Beni said, unusually pensive. "But…"

"Hey, I'm not going to abandon you," I said. "None of you." I then kissed her on the lips, causing the now-familiar wings to materialise in a flare of light. I did the same thing to Akitsu and Haihane. "This isn't just about doing the duties of the Discipline Squad. This is about making sure you get through it intact. I don't care what Minaka thinks: you all deserve a chance to be happy."

Well, that did the trick. Almost instantly, I was enveloped in a group hug. Okay, I'd been hugged by Akitsu and Haihane together, and the Sekirei liked to embrace me in bed, but, well, this was the first time Beni joined in.

"I know what it's like to be alone, to feel that nobody loves you," I said quietly. "I spent ten years of my life feeling that way, before finding out I was famous. You Sekirei probably get unwanted attention for your looks, and I got unwanted attention because of something my parents did, my mother did. You are not tools or game pieces, no matter what Minaka might think, no matter what some prospective Ashikabi will think. I've felt that way before, and I don't want anyone else I care about to feel the same way."

I have to admit, I haven't felt this much love and affection since…well, I parted ways with Hermione and Luna. Hermione had gone back to university (after some trouble getting in), and had met another Muggleborn. And Luna…well, she was apparently engaged to a relative of Newt Scamander's. Actually, I hadn't contacted them lately. I really should.

Anyway, this sheer amount of love and affection from the three Sekirei…it was a little overwhelming. Even though they had only known me for weeks, they felt this way towards me. All because, supposedly, I was their destined one.

I wasn't going to let Minaka dictate their fate, or that of the other Sekirei. I'd been there before, and even then, at least my fate was to save people. Minaka just wanted to do this for his own amusement, to play God. Well, I intended to bring his little fantasy crashing down around him…

 **CHAPTER 6 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Karasuba's been converted to the joys of pranks, and Harry's making plans. Joy. The next chapter might be a while, depending.**

 **Review-answering time! A couple of people thought that Harry shouldn't have reacted the way he did to Miya's** ** _Hannya_** **. Keep in mind that the** ** _Hannya_** **seems to effect everyone around them, being almost like an innate effect. Harry's not actually scared of it, but he's still affected by it, and if he was really that badly scared by it, he wouldn't have trolled Miya by basically pushing her buttons to make it worse. His cavalcade of swearing was more designed to annoy Miya than express any fear. And IMO, a Patronus would have done jackshit.**

 **Guest** **(regarding the Disneyland thing): Oh, I forgot. And I have favourited** ** _Warrior's Way_** **, so I should have remembered.**

 **Jostanos** **: I pretty much showed which Sekirei I'm considering in the files above. Yahan, the Thunder Twins, and Uzume are the main candidates, though Kouchou and Yashima are also possibilities.**

 **monkiepawn** **: He's more world-weary and resigned than angry. Though heaven help anyone who actually makes him lose his temper…**

 **1\. No, really, this has actually happened. I first heard about this on an episode of** ** _QI_** **(namely** ** _Flora and Fauna_** **). It happened near Hamburg, where crows would peck out the livers of toads in lightning attacks, and fly off. The toads try to puff up as their natural defence…only for the hole in their bodies to make things worse. Net result: a rather messy and gory explosion. The most horrible thing is, some toads don't die instantly after exploding…**


	8. Chapter 7: The Bloodthirsty Crow and the

**CHAPTER 7:**

 **THE BLOODTHIRSTY CROW AND THE STRESSED-OUT SCIENTIST**

"I can see why Minaka likes to stand out here and do his little megalomania act," Karasuba remarked as we stood on a ledge, high up on the MBI building. Karasuba had bought some apples, her favourite food, and had offered some to me. I thought it wise not to decline, and besides, I like apples.

"Why, because he feels like a god, looking down on humanity from on high? It's not very original," I retorted.

"Oh, I agree, but still…one can see the attraction. From up here, humans are like ants that you can just step on," Karasuba purred. Her habitual lazy smirk widened. "Though I have to say, pranks do appeal to me. The 'sex education' class I did yesterday went down well."

Well, by that, she meant that she had now scarred half of the Sekirei and the staff of MBI for life with explicit images of VD's effects on the human body, specifically to the genitals. Even Minaka, who was considered too insane to torture, had actually begun to cry for mercy. I managed to get footage of Minaka crying (though not what he was crying at), and sent it to Matsu, who had uploaded it to YouTube under one of her accounts, RedhairedWagtail02Ishtar(1). I think Miya was torn between being disturbed at the fact that we used VD films to torture MBI staff, and laughing at the fact that Minaka had been reduced to a blubbering wreck.

"Anyway, I have to admit, you do have a point. Doing this to people…while not quite as satisfying as cutting them up, it still has the very appealing prospect of being repeatable. A few slices, a splash of blood…and then, what? Wet hands, post-homicidal ennui…but this…ooh, I am switching to renewable free-range misery. I think my next project will be gaslighting that moron Takeru into madness."

"You want help?" I asked. Takeru's arrogance knew no bounds, especially as it seemed he had been feeding information to Higa. And Higa, according to Takami, was a rather nasty sort. True, he held a grudge against MBI for not unfounded reasons, but he and his family were noted for having a cutthroat mentality, even going so far as to have links with the local Yakuza. Takeru had also been found to have tried sexually assaulting a few Sekirei, not just Akitsu. So driving him into madness, well, I didn't give a fuck.

"Maybe. No magic, unless there's some fun items I can use. I'd prefer to do things with my own skills."

Well, Karasuba could be stealthy when she wanted to. I knew I had made a mistake telling her about how Batman could appear from virtually nowhere…and disappear in the middle of a conversation. But she generally preferred to have people see her coming for them. Killing was no fun, she had once lamented to me, when you couldn't see your enemies cowering in fear, soiling their clothes as you walked towards them, their weapons useless. I think she was reminiscing about that time she rescued Musubi when she discussed that. I had learned more about Yume's fate from Takami, who filled me in on a few of the details. It wasn't just Musubi that she rescued, but another Sekirei called Kaho, but it was Musubi, who had to be revived by Yume's sacrifice, that Karasuba had the creepy fixation on.

Then again, any fixation Karasuba had on anyone could be construed as creepy.

Out of the blue, she remarked, "I hate it, you know. All those positive feelings I get from my link to you."

"And yet you Winged yourself to me," I remarked, probably unwisely. "I call that a self-inflicted injury."

Despite the unwise nature of my snark, Karasuba actually chuckled. After a moment, she admitted, "I never bought into that shit about finding my fated one. Frankly, I'm not sure what I feel for you. Something does draw me to you. Maybe it's because you've known pain, and have grown stronger in spite of it. Maybe it's because, as a wizard, you are probably one of the few humans who has a chance to actually kill me. I'm sure the Killing Curse, from what I've heard, would kill me just as well as it would a human. And that…excites me."

She then strutted forward, casually throwing her apple core off the building (I hoped that Minaka would, improbably, be hit by it, assuming he was walking outside of the MBI building), before she reached me. She took my head in her hands, and pressed her lips to mine, the familiar flare of her ethereal wings appearing. On a probably stupid impulse, my own hand wandered down underneath her coat, to her derriere. I didn't touch her hard, just enough for her to notice. But her subsequent moan was not of complaint, but of approval.

She then broke off the kiss, and smirked. "I don't care about love. But you, my Ashikabi, you interest me. Be sure to keep that interest, Harry Potter. And if my bond with you makes me stronger, then I will put up with the backwash from your end of our bond…to a point."

"If you try to kill me…I'll go down screaming and fighting," I retorted.

"I look forward to it. Anyway, who said I was going to kill you? After all, I need you alive to keep our bond active. Intact, well, that's another story." And with that, she strutted away.

* * *

Now, I hadn't been idle in trying to deal with Minaka. I was planning two major means of attack. The first, done with the unwitting but willing help of Karasuba, was to subject him to pranks and torment to wear him down psychologically. He may already be insane, but I wanted him _broken_. This sounds like a pretty nasty fate for someone, but he wanted to pit over a hundred alien women (and a few men) in a glorified cockfight, all for some nebulous prize. Supposedly, the chance to 'ascend to the heavens'. Sounded like jam tomorrow than today for me(2), and even if there was a prize, I don't think it justified either the disruption to the Ashikabis' lives, or the fact that the Sekirei who were defeated don't get to be with their Ashikabi forever. The fact that Minaka was willing to allow Ashikabi's to Wing Sekirei who weren't reacting to them, the equivalent of rape, made it worse.

The second line of attack was going to be Legilimency, to find out what he intended, what nasty surprises he had in store (unless he was bluffing) and, if I could do so safely, I would leave him an insensate vegetable. As much as Takami was a bitch, she was also a bitch who actually gave a shit about the Sekirei, and I reckoned if she was in charge of MBI, she could modify whatever plans were in store for the Sekirei to be more suitable for their long-term survival.

After my encounter with Karasuba, I had headed to the canteen and found Takami there, nursing a coffee, and what looked like a headache. Considering who she dealt with on a daily basis, I wasn't surprised. She looked up, and muttered, "Oh great, here comes the Second Coming of Merlin."

"As flattering as that is, I don't like those appellations. Seriously, the whole 'Boy Who Lived' thing got old real fast," I said.

"Boy Who what?" Takami asked.

"…Wait, you don't know?"

Takami massaged her temples. "I think I heard Minaka cackling about it, but he never told me why. He never tells me a lot of things. I just have to wipe his arse and clean up after his shit."

"Been there, done that, bought the T-Shirt," I said. "Okay, long story short, I mentioned how I defeated a wizarding terrorist before, right?"

Takami nodded. "Voldemort. Rather pretentious name, and rather stupid if you know a bit of French. 'Flight of death', really?"

"Well, when I was one, Voldemort attacked my family, trying to kill me. There was a prophecy involved. Anyway, my mother used some sort of ritual to protect me from Voldemort, but it required the sacrifice of her life to do so. I was famous because, before I even got out of nappies, I survived the Killing Curse. Normally, unless you dodge or have something solid between you and it, you're dead if it hits you. I survived, and got this natty little scar." I pointed to the damned thing, now faded, thanks to the Horcrux within going away. "The wizards called me the Boy Who Lived because I survived, miraculously. They thought I had some special power."

"They thought you a messiah."

I scoffed at Takami's blunt and accurate assessment, laced with cynicism in her tone. "Yep. Not that I knew. Ten years, I spent with my uncle and aunt, who hated magic. They tried to beat it out of me, frankly. My bedroom until I was eleven was a storage cupboard under the stairs."

"Bullshit."

I glared at her. "Don't you _dare_. It happened. I do have a few scars elsewhere, most from my time at Hogwarts, but others given to me by the Dursleys. The galling thing was, I was sent there to be protected, but I wasn't protected from my own relatives. I'm still bitter."

"And you haven't done a thing about that?"

I chuckled with malevolent mirth. "What makes you say that? I hired a very good lawyer to sue the crap out of them. With Dumbledore gone, their main advocate was no longer there to help them. Dudley's all right now, he's joined the army, straightened right out. But Vernon? He had a heart attack, and I've whiled away a merry night pissing on his grave and desecrating it. And Petunia…well, she has to deal with being on the receiving end of malicious gossip now, after badmouthing me as a delinquent and a criminal. Actually, speaking of my lawyer, I should really contact her. She's basically the guardian of my godson. Maybe he could be an Ashikabi or something. I mean, he's only young, but maybe he could be Kusano's in a few years. At least Ku could use another brother figure."

Takami nodded. "That's how I've explained the relationship between a Sekirei and an Ashikabi to her. She's too little to understand true romantic relationships, and she's obviously way too young for sex. A sibling or friendship relationship is best for her. But I wouldn't bring your godson over, in case Minaka uses him against you."

She had a point. Plus, as the son of a werewolf and a Metamorphmagus, Minaka would probably vivisect Teddy just to see how such things worked. "I can't believe you can tolerate that crazy bastard."

"Believe me, neither can I. I'm glad my children turned out nothing like him."

It took a moment for that comment to process. And when I realised what she meant, my tone was one of sheer disbelief. "Wait, what? You had children…with **_him_**."

She winced at her slip-up, but reluctantly nodded. "I know, I know. It was stupid, and I don't want to talk about it any further. Minato's a bit of a wimp, but that's more due to being the only male in a very female-dominated household. Yukari and I do tend to browbeat him somewhat. And Yukari…well, she's nowhere near as bad as Minaka, but she's an otaku and has a breast envy that causes her to grope any particularly buxom woman near Minato. Plus, she has a bit of a bro-con thing for him."

"Bro-con?"

"Brother complex. In other words, incestuous feelings. Nothing too bad in her case, but still…" She winced again. "I'm trying to keep them out of the Sekirei Plan, but odds are, they'll blunder into it anyway. I'd put money on them both being Ashikabis."

"Oh, marvellous." After a moment, I said, "If he does end up being dropped into this mess, would you like me to keep a discreet eye on him?"

Takami met my look, before she reluctantly nodded. "I know Minaka's going to be keeping an eye on him. But I appreciate the offer."

I hope she did. Even before this Sekirei mess, I knew what it was like to be dropped into the deep end of a situation and not knowing what to do. Hell, it happened the moment I first entered the world of magic, and found out I was famous. I was at sea, and, well, sadly, my first contact in that world wasn't that much help. Oh, Hagrid meant well, and taught me many things, but not enough. Ron and Hermione taught me more, Ron through living in the magical world, and Hermione through her books.

In any case, if Minato got dropped into this BS situation, then I was going to do my best to make sure he survived…

 **CHAPTER 7 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well, Harry's plotting, Karasuba's anticipating, and Takami's stressing out.**

 **Review-answering time!** **knightessjg** **: I've also written a somewhat funny crossover with** ** _Pirates of the Caribbean_** **called** ** _Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, An Ashikabi's Life for Me_** **, if you're interested. It's basically Minato being the reincarnation of Captain Jack.**

 **1\. I had to think carefully about what Matsu's username would be. The 'Redhaired Wagtail 02' part should be self-evident, but why Ishtar? Well, Matsu is pretty horny most of the time, and Ishtar was a goddess of sex and fertility in Babylon.**

 **2\. 'Jam tomorrow' was basically a pun Lewis Carrol used based on a mnemonic for Latin terms, discussed in** ** _Alice's Adventures Through the Looking Glass_** **. It's also used as a snarky comment on unfulfilled promises nowadays.**


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